I waited too long.
I didn't find a higher paying job yet, so I'm going to have to move in with my parents unless something happens.
I've passed the phone interview for Geico, but now that I've learned more details about the job, I'm hesitating. I don't know if I want to go through 3 months of training. I don't know if I want to do claims and licensing and everything that it entails.
I just watched Age of Adeline with Cortney. Good movie. But. I keep thinking about him. I could feel his face, his kiss. That was torture. And I can't .... I can't even .... I still want us to happen. And I don't know if it ever will. I'm trying to give up. It's the hardest thing to do. And I want to talk to him. And I don't. I'm dying to explain. And I don't know if I should.
Monday, December 7, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Change is in the wind...
Change is in the wind...
And some of the decisions I have to make are difficult...
And I wasn't taught how to make these kinds of decisions in school...
Sometimes I just don't want to adult. Can someone else adult for me? I don't know if I can handle being an adult today...
God knows what my future holds. Can He come and make my decisions for me today?...
Sometimes I wish I had at least a Table of Contents for my life, so I could have clues about which decisions to make....
Sometimes I'm grateful that I don't...
But today is not one of those days.....
And some of the decisions I have to make are difficult...
And I wasn't taught how to make these kinds of decisions in school...
Sometimes I just don't want to adult. Can someone else adult for me? I don't know if I can handle being an adult today...
God knows what my future holds. Can He come and make my decisions for me today?...
Sometimes I wish I had at least a Table of Contents for my life, so I could have clues about which decisions to make....
Sometimes I'm grateful that I don't...
But today is not one of those days.....
Monday, August 24, 2015
Rules (I've been working on this one for a while.... still in progress...)
Rule 1: I will always love God more than anyone else.
Rule 2: Spoilers.
Rule 3: You may never see all my layers. Get used to it.
Rule 4: I'm an introvert. I shrink from too much social interaction.
Rule 5: I don't steal.
Rule 6: I don't share.
Rule 7: I love my family, flaws and all. Get over it and love them too.
Rule 8: Be honest with me.
Rule 9: I can't read between the lines if it pertains to me.
Rule 10: I can read between the lines when it pertains to anyone else though.
Rule 11: I see a lot more than I talk about.
Rule 12: If you get me to talk to you for more than 15 minutes, you must be pretty special.
Rule 13: I'm a nerd. I love nerdy things.
Rule 14: Never get me truly angry. You don't want to see that.
Rule 15: I'm going to surprise you.
Rule 16: I will always have books on my shelf that I haven't read yet.
Rule 17: I will always have lots of books.
Rule 18: I really like Doctor Who. A lot. It's hilarious.
Rule 19: I really, really like Narnia. If it was real, I'd go there and never come back.
Rule 20: I write in a journal. No, I won't let you read it.
Rule 21: I write poetry and songs. No, I probably won't share those either.
Rule 22: I am sarcastic. Probably too much. I'm sorry if I ever say something that hurts you.
Rule 23: I can be dumb sometimes. Please tell me if I hurt you. Otherwise, I won't have a clue.
Rule 24: If I friend-zone you, it's probably forever. Sorry. Well, not sorry.
Rule 25: If I don't immediately ice you, you have at least half a chance.
Rule 26: If you do something inherently stupid, like hurt my friends, I will ice you. See Rule 24.
Rule 27: You don't have to give me gifts to impress me. But I still like them occasionally.
Rule 28: If you can challenge me and make me think differently, I will think you are amazing.
Rule 29: If you scramble my brain, I'm not responsible for remembering anything you said after that.
Rule 30: Just ask.
Rule 31: I like traveling. But I also need a home base to come back to.
Rule 32: If you hurt my family/close friends/co-workers, I will bill your next-of-kin for my bail money. Fair warning.
Rule 33: If you look in my purse at any given time, you will see at least 1 book.
Rule 34: If I show you any of my writing that hasn't been previously published, know that I just gave you a loaded gun and asked you not to shoot me.
Rule 35: If you shoot me with the loaded gun from Rule 34, there can only be two results. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. A) I will turtle, and ice you for eternity. B) I will bill your next of kin for emotional trauma and bail money.
I think that's all for today....
The Doctor's Rules... in no particular order...
Rule 408: Time is not the boss of you.
Rule 27: Never knowingly be serious.
Rule 1: The Doctor lies.
Rule 7: Never run when you are scared.
Rule 8: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, then always ignore a coincidence.
Rule 10: Don't wander off.
Rule #: You never want to listen to reason.
Rule #: Everyone is important.
Rule #: Never put the Doctor in a trap.
Rule #: Don't diss the sonic.
Rule #: Run.
Rule #: Six words can bring down a government.
Rule #: Always take a banana to a party. Bananas are good.
Rule #: Don't drink the water.
Rule #: Count the shadows.
Rule #: Don't blink.
Rule #: Never shoot the Tardis.
Rule #: Keep out signs are merely suggestions.
Rule 179: Anyone remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.
Rule 169: Books are the best weapons in the world.
Rule 166: If you’re going to die, you might as well die in style.
Rule 137: There’s always something worth living for.
Rule 377: Everybody knows that everybody dies, but not everyday.
Rule 410: Never trust a diet pill.
Rule 402: Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden…except for cheap tricks…
Rule 308: “Life is short. And you are hot,” may - or may not - be a successful pick-up line.
Rule 392: Always wear shoes you can run in… just in case.
Rule 307: It’s not breaking and entering; it’s sonicing and entering.
Rule 275: The definition of genocide is “over my dead body”.
Rule 268: One must never interfere in the affairs of people and planets, unless there’s a child crying.
Rule 266: If you disagree with a manual, throw it in a supernova.
Rule 256: You can’t fool a genius with psychic paper (especially if that genius is Shakespeare).
Rule 234: The little shop is always right next to the exit.
Rule 232: Never try to get to the Doctor through the people he loves.
Rule 226: “I will push you into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy” is a perfectly good threat for any occasion.
Rule 223: Ten is the kind of man who doesn’t give second chances.
Rule 220: No one is meant to absorb the time vortex.
Rule 221: Never underestimate the power of a good, strong cup of tea.
Rule 443: The Doctor never follows a plan.
Rule 213: Anyone with a fob watch has the potential to be a Time Lord. Plan accordingly.
Rule 189: Museums are how he keeps score.
Rule 398: If you travel to the past, don’t touch your younger self.
Rule 397: If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving; remember the best.
Rule #: Remember that River lies too. All the time. She has to. Spoilers.
Rule 2: Spoilers.
Rule 3: You may never see all my layers. Get used to it.
Rule 4: I'm an introvert. I shrink from too much social interaction.
Rule 5: I don't steal.
Rule 6: I don't share.
Rule 7: I love my family, flaws and all. Get over it and love them too.
Rule 8: Be honest with me.
Rule 9: I can't read between the lines if it pertains to me.
Rule 10: I can read between the lines when it pertains to anyone else though.
Rule 11: I see a lot more than I talk about.
Rule 12: If you get me to talk to you for more than 15 minutes, you must be pretty special.
Rule 13: I'm a nerd. I love nerdy things.
Rule 14: Never get me truly angry. You don't want to see that.
Rule 15: I'm going to surprise you.
Rule 16: I will always have books on my shelf that I haven't read yet.
Rule 17: I will always have lots of books.
Rule 18: I really like Doctor Who. A lot. It's hilarious.
Rule 19: I really, really like Narnia. If it was real, I'd go there and never come back.
Rule 20: I write in a journal. No, I won't let you read it.
Rule 21: I write poetry and songs. No, I probably won't share those either.
Rule 22: I am sarcastic. Probably too much. I'm sorry if I ever say something that hurts you.
Rule 23: I can be dumb sometimes. Please tell me if I hurt you. Otherwise, I won't have a clue.
Rule 24: If I friend-zone you, it's probably forever. Sorry. Well, not sorry.
Rule 25: If I don't immediately ice you, you have at least half a chance.
Rule 26: If you do something inherently stupid, like hurt my friends, I will ice you. See Rule 24.
Rule 27: You don't have to give me gifts to impress me. But I still like them occasionally.
Rule 28: If you can challenge me and make me think differently, I will think you are amazing.
Rule 29: If you scramble my brain, I'm not responsible for remembering anything you said after that.
Rule 30: Just ask.
Rule 31: I like traveling. But I also need a home base to come back to.
Rule 32: If you hurt my family/close friends/co-workers, I will bill your next-of-kin for my bail money. Fair warning.
Rule 33: If you look in my purse at any given time, you will see at least 1 book.
Rule 34: If I show you any of my writing that hasn't been previously published, know that I just gave you a loaded gun and asked you not to shoot me.
Rule 35: If you shoot me with the loaded gun from Rule 34, there can only be two results. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. A) I will turtle, and ice you for eternity. B) I will bill your next of kin for emotional trauma and bail money.
I think that's all for today....
The Doctor's Rules... in no particular order...
Rule 408: Time is not the boss of you.
Rule 27: Never knowingly be serious.
Rule 1: The Doctor lies.
Rule 7: Never run when you are scared.
Rule 8: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, then always ignore a coincidence.
Rule 10: Don't wander off.
Rule #: You never want to listen to reason.
Rule #: Everyone is important.
Rule #: Never put the Doctor in a trap.
Rule #: Don't diss the sonic.
Rule #: Run.
Rule #: Six words can bring down a government.
Rule #: Always take a banana to a party. Bananas are good.
Rule #: Don't drink the water.
Rule #: Count the shadows.
Rule #: Don't blink.
Rule #: Never shoot the Tardis.
Rule #: Keep out signs are merely suggestions.
Rule 179: Anyone remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.
Rule 169: Books are the best weapons in the world.
Rule 166: If you’re going to die, you might as well die in style.
Rule 137: There’s always something worth living for.
Rule 377: Everybody knows that everybody dies, but not everyday.
Rule 410: Never trust a diet pill.
Rule 402: Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden…except for cheap tricks…
Rule 308: “Life is short. And you are hot,” may - or may not - be a successful pick-up line.
Rule 392: Always wear shoes you can run in… just in case.
Rule 307: It’s not breaking and entering; it’s sonicing and entering.
Rule 275: The definition of genocide is “over my dead body”.
Rule 268: One must never interfere in the affairs of people and planets, unless there’s a child crying.
Rule 266: If you disagree with a manual, throw it in a supernova.
Rule 256: You can’t fool a genius with psychic paper (especially if that genius is Shakespeare).
Rule 234: The little shop is always right next to the exit.
Rule 232: Never try to get to the Doctor through the people he loves.
Rule 226: “I will push you into the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy” is a perfectly good threat for any occasion.
Rule 223: Ten is the kind of man who doesn’t give second chances.
Rule 220: No one is meant to absorb the time vortex.
Rule 221: Never underestimate the power of a good, strong cup of tea.
Rule 443: The Doctor never follows a plan.
Rule 213: Anyone with a fob watch has the potential to be a Time Lord. Plan accordingly.
Rule 189: Museums are how he keeps score.
Rule 398: If you travel to the past, don’t touch your younger self.
Rule 397: If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving; remember the best.
Rule #: Remember that River lies too. All the time. She has to. Spoilers.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
New Year!
Happy New Year!
I rang in the New Year at my church's Watch night service. It was a great time of praise & worship.
We are currently on Day 8 of our 21 days of Fasting & Prayer. I've been blessed with gas money by my parents, so I've been able to attend every night of prayer at the church except one, when I had to work.
Monday was great. The band did live worship for the prayer night, and all of us got to be on the stage. It was amazing. Then we had practice after prayer was over. Some of the band guys weren't there. I hope they aren't sick.
Since the pianist wasn't at practice, I got to play one of the songs on the piano. Today I just went through all three of the songs we have on the schedule for Sunday. It's a bit harder than it looks, especially when you add your left hand into the mix. My right hand is a bit sore right now, but I want to practice again later, just in case. I'm actually supposed to be on camera on Sunday, so hopefully the pianist will be able to come. I don't know if I'm ready for the stage yet, even though some of the band say they are ready for me to join them. Lol.
I rang in the New Year at my church's Watch night service. It was a great time of praise & worship.
Since the pianist wasn't at practice, I got to play one of the songs on the piano. Today I just went through all three of the songs we have on the schedule for Sunday. It's a bit harder than it looks, especially when you add your left hand into the mix. My right hand is a bit sore right now, but I want to practice again later, just in case. I'm actually supposed to be on camera on Sunday, so hopefully the pianist will be able to come. I don't know if I'm ready for the stage yet, even though some of the band say they are ready for me to join them. Lol.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Internet Blog or Paper Journal?
Well, if someone asked me which was better for writing, electronics or paper, I know my answer. Purely based on usage, my answer is that paper is better. I hardly ever write here, and yet I write at least once a week in my journal. I'm sure that one of my reasons is that this is public (being on the internet), and my journal is not. Since I'm very cautious about sharing my personal feelings/thoughts, my journal comes first, always.
The new apartment is working out well. It's very cozy. And it has enough room for her couches in the living room, my couch in the dining room as a book nook, and my loveseat in my room as another book nook. It's perfect for us. She's been gone a lot since we moved in. Either at the Ranch, or in Goliad. Last week she was gone from Monday night to Saturday night. It was really quiet, so I'm glad I had lots of work. Cort came over on Christmas Eve too, which was great. My family came to my apartment for Christmas, like last year. It was nice to have them over. We watched White Christmas, cooked, and opened presents. We only had a few each. But it was a great Christmas.
Back to personal thoughts..... Spoilers!!!
Wow. I was unsure before, but after yesterday, I know. He totally likes me. How much? We'll see. And yeah, I don't mind the attention either. I'd forgotten that part of myself existed. Ever seen a brick wall ripple like a pond and break apart in a thousand droplets? I hadn't either. Sigh. :)
The new apartment is working out well. It's very cozy. And it has enough room for her couches in the living room, my couch in the dining room as a book nook, and my loveseat in my room as another book nook. It's perfect for us. She's been gone a lot since we moved in. Either at the Ranch, or in Goliad. Last week she was gone from Monday night to Saturday night. It was really quiet, so I'm glad I had lots of work. Cort came over on Christmas Eve too, which was great. My family came to my apartment for Christmas, like last year. It was nice to have them over. We watched White Christmas, cooked, and opened presents. We only had a few each. But it was a great Christmas.
Back to personal thoughts..... Spoilers!!!
Wow. I was unsure before, but after yesterday, I know. He totally likes me. How much? We'll see. And yeah, I don't mind the attention either. I'd forgotten that part of myself existed. Ever seen a brick wall ripple like a pond and break apart in a thousand droplets? I hadn't either. Sigh. :)
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Challenges...
This week is very busy.
Packing & Moving to a new apartment at the end of the week.
Applying for a new job that will work with my college schedule.
Practicing the new song we learned at Monday's worship practice, just in case Tim can't make it.
Yikes.
Let's just say I've got my work cut out for me.
(And since no one follows this blog...)
When someone insists on opening the door for you... It's nice to feel special. :)
(Anyways...)
That's all I have time for tonight, I need to go practice the new song.
Packing & Moving to a new apartment at the end of the week.
Applying for a new job that will work with my college schedule.
Practicing the new song we learned at Monday's worship practice, just in case Tim can't make it.
Yikes.
Let's just say I've got my work cut out for me.
(And since no one follows this blog...)
When someone insists on opening the door for you... It's nice to feel special. :)
(Anyways...)
That's all I have time for tonight, I need to go practice the new song.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Allergies
So... through the last few months I've been battling hives.At first I thought it was a bug in my house. Then I looked it up, and it was hives. Thought it was a reaction to a lotion or soap, but it wasn't. Loooooooong story short, I'm allergic to msg (monosodium glutamate). It's in everything!!!!! Many prepackaged foods and spice mixes, and sauces/sauce mixes have this preservative.
Goodbye Church's chicken.
Goodbye Chinese food.
Goodbye pre-made almost everything.
Goodbye pepperoni, sausage, and hotdogs.
Goodbye lunchmeat.
Eating at lifegroup is playing russian roulette with my health.
It's almost as bad as being allergic to peanuts.
The only comfort I have right now is knowing what I'm allergic to. The process to find out took a long time.
Goodbye Church's chicken.
Goodbye Chinese food.
Goodbye pre-made almost everything.
Goodbye pepperoni, sausage, and hotdogs.
Goodbye lunchmeat.
Eating at lifegroup is playing russian roulette with my health.
It's almost as bad as being allergic to peanuts.
The only comfort I have right now is knowing what I'm allergic to. The process to find out took a long time.
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